Abusive, Narcissistic Conman

John Davis Mountjoy - "Papa John"

October 7, 1915 - February 26, 2017

My paternal grandfather was the oldest of 9 children and grew up on a farm in Warrenton, VA.  He didn't finish grade school - choosing, instead, to enlist in the military.  Eleven years older than his bride, John married Dolores on December 23, 1950 and together they had three sons - Johnny, Billy, and Jimmy.  Papa John enjoyed hunting and, while I never went on those trips with him, I was no stranger to hearing him practicing game calls.  

Papa John could often be found tending to his vegetable garden or cutting the grass on his riding mower.  He had retired just two years before I was born; my relationship with him was the only consistently stable connection I ever had with the Mountjoy side of the family. 

Posts Including Papa John:

Early Childhood

Town of Vienna, VA (Part I)

Papa John

She Said Yes

Great Falls, VA

Hello Wisconsin

Dolores Schleis - "Nana"

June 6, 1927 - April 24, 2018

My paternal grandmother also grew up on a farm, although she grew up in the Midwest.  Upon graduating High School, she moved from Denmark, Wisconsin to Washington DC to work as a secretary at the Pentagon during World War II and, in the process, she met Papa John.  

Nana always wanted her own little girl and, in many ways, I was inadvertently thrown into that role.  Of course, I had my own mother - a fact that she, along with her three boys, seemed to forget.  She was fond of planting annuals in partial shade; azaleas, hostas, and lily of the valley were among her top choices.  Eager to hear the current events in the lives of her family and friends, she would never shy away from answering the telephone..  

Nana had a matriarchal influence on our lives as Billy derived so much satisfaction from being her favorite that he would often compel both me and my mother to make him look good.  It didn't necessarily matter whether Billy had actually completed the whatever task warranted her approval, though; it only mattered that she believed it to be true. 

Posts Including Nana:

Early Childhood

Town of Vienna, VA (Part I)

Roman Catholicism

Papa John

She Said Yes

Great Falls, VA

Hello Wisconsin

Glorified Camping

Father Knows Best

Dolores' youngest brother, Jack, and his wife, Betty, remained on the family farm in Wisconsin.  Jackie and Betty are are mentioned in the following posts: 

Great Falls, VA (referred to as Bill's Aunt and Uncle)

Hello Wisconsin

John Mountjoy - "Johnny"

November 7, 1951

Johnny's essence can be described in a single word: gregarious. 

There were an abundance of occasions where Johnny demonstrated genuine interest in my life.  Of the three brothers, he is undoubtedly the most considerate.  At other times, I felt Johnny was too distracted to take on the role of being a good uncle.  Decades later, it was revealed that the hindrance I perceived was jealously - both towards me and my mother.  

I admit feeling disappointed in him and it's evident he picked up on that tension.  There have been many times I felt Johnny could have helped (with minimal effort on his part) but, instead, took a seat on the sidelines.  After reading the first half of my story, Uncle John wrote that he couldn't continue - he was, yet again, staying on the bench, albeit also sharing that  "I cringe every time my name is mentioned" and he was "sad to have been so unwittingly involved in any of it."  

Over the years, once incident after another ends with Johnny repeatedly acknowledging Bill's destructive role.  Yet time heals all wounds between these two and it doesn't even take very long either.  Without fail, Johnny falls back on his loyalty to Bill - despite his allegiance never being reciprocated.  Bill, not so affectionately,  describes 'Brother John' as a "bleeding heart liberal and pothead." He tells friends Johnny is his "third-wheel" at social events while joking that Johnny "can be (his) date." Ironically, Johnny's presence is the reason many tolerate Bill.

Johnny was self-employed as a maintenance technician.  It feels like a lifetime ago but, if I recall correctly, his business was called Mountjoy Maintenance.  He retired early and lives frugally - taking pride in describing himself a "slacker."  His primary client was a string of fitness clubs, known as Sport & Health.  He currently lives in Annandale, VA, and, when he is not traveling with friends, he takes on home repair projects.  

Posts Including Uncle John:

Early Childhood

Papa John

Sir JT

Father Knows Best

True Colors

Dolores' Rainy-day Fund

Toxic Masculinity

Pseudocyesis (Fake Pregnancy)

William Joseph Mountjoy - "Billy"

June 28, 1953

James Douglas Mountjoy - "Jimmy"

December 9, 1954

When I was a child, Bill had an almost uncontrollable need to vigorously compete with Jimmy and, as a result, many of the events in our household - such as buying a car/boat, moving, or even the restaurant chosen for a night out would correspond with something Jimmy and his wife had done first.  I never quite understood this rivalry as Jimmy never seemed too competitive himself - even when Bill would taunt him, Jimmy seemed more interested in his donuts, grape juice, and A1 steak sauce.  

Growing up, I always has the impression that Jimmy was annoyed by children - or at least by me.  As a young woman, there were a few occasions where my relationship with Jimmy was more cordial, but I would not say that we were ever close.  We both attended the same college and it seemed there wasn't much else we had in common.  

The approval their mother, Dolores, played a substantial role in the lives all all three boys, yet Jimmy was the only one to directly oppose his mother by marrying a woman who had previously been divorced.  Although timid yet comical, I question the prevalent conclusion that  Jimmy was the coward among the three.  I admit I never actually tried to have a real relationship with Jimmy; behind closed doors Bill would constantly degrade his "sissy" brother for everything from coloring his hair to letting his wife pick out his clothes while concurrently bragging that she had (supposedly) propositioned him.  Nothing was off-limits as Bill even routinely referred to Jimmy's daughter - a child at the time - as a "heifer" (female cow).  It's not that I necessarily believed these things myself but rather that there wasn't much of a foundation on which to build. 

Jimmy worked as a chemist for the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in DC.  He currently lives in Malabar, FL and, although I haven't seen him in almost 15 years, I imagine he's still an enthusiastic Elvis impersonator whenever the opportunity presents itself.  

Posts Including Uncle Jimmy:

Early Childhood

Town of Vienna, VA (Part I)

Papa John

She Said Yes

Stone Manor on the Potomac - Lot Acquisition 

The "Red Rocket" and Other Swindles

Dolores' Rainy-day Fund

Toxic Masculinity